8 Things Our Pastors Wish We Knew

Most of us don’t fully realize the physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual demands required to serve as a pastor. We are often aware of the investment our pastors make in our own lives. What we don’t often calculate, however, is the cumulative time and energy those investments require when multiplied by the entire membership population of our congregation.

We depend on our pastors as personal counselors, mentors, leaders, friends, and spiritual advisors. They are the first ones we call when we need someone to bless our marriages, baptize our children, or bury our parents. When our families are in crisis, we expect our pastors to referee, repair, and reclaim. And at the same time, we expect them to challenge and encourage us with great sermons every Sunday.

·      They wish we knew they are flat worn-out.

If all of us have the same expectation that our pastors will willingly respond to our every need, then how can we not expect the stress of that responsibility to eventually take its toll? So, maybe in addition to giving our pastors a gift card for pastor appreciation month, we should also give them a break.

·      They wish we knew how hard it is for them to get out of town.

Many churches offer their pastors time away for vacation, sick leave, and conferences. But what most of us don’t realize is the amount of preparation time it requires to enlist others to take care of all their responsibilities while they are away. It’s almost easier not to go.

·      They wish we knew how hard it is for them to take a sabbath each week.

We’ve designated Sunday as the Sabbath or day of rest. But for those in ministry it is a day full of services, meetings, small groups, and counseling sessions. So, if Sunday isn’t their day of rest, when is? Pastors need the gift of time beyond a couple of weeks of vacation each year. These sustained sabbatical periods every few years allows them to step aside from their daily responsibilities, to renew their bodies, to refresh their souls, and to reaffirm their calling to God and us.

·      They wish we knew they face the same struggles in life we do.

Pastors know that a culture of expendability is often just as prevalent in church life as it is in the business world. So, to guard their ministry positions, save face with their congregation, or protect the financial security of their family, pastors often sense a profound pressure to fake it. We often hold our pastors to a higher standard than God does.

·      They wish we knew how much they worry if their kids will even like church when they’re no longer required to attend.

Jesus said, the greatest commandment is to love God with heart, soul, mind, and strength, and to love our neighbors as we love ourselves. Family should be the pastors closest neighbor. God first, then family, then ministry. Sometimes our pastors get that out of order, and we often let them because if benefits us.

·      They wish we knew how lonely they are.

Barna Research discovered that 61% of pastors are lonely and have few close friends. So, the loneliest people in the church are often our pastors. How can we expect them to model what it means to live in community when many of them live in isolation? We need to encourage our pastors to move beyond acquaintanceship to friendship. And we need to give them grace as they try to figure out how to balance being both a shepherd and a friend.

·      They wish we knew how hard sermon preparation is every week.

If we expect our pastors to accurately share the Word of God with our congregation each week, then we must ensure they have plenty of study time. When we assume our pastors should make every hospital visit, facilitate every committee meeting, cheer at all our kid’s sporting events, eat every pot-luck meal, perform every wedding ceremony, and officiate every funeral, then how can we not expect their sermon preparation and presentations to suffer?

·      They wish we knew there are very few times when we aren’t on their minds.

They aren’t serving because ministry is easy and lucrative, they are serving because they have a genuine love for Christ and his church…us. They wish we knew how often they pray for and over us. They wish we knew how much it means when we protect them from their own stupidity. They wish we knew how often they grieve when we are grieving. They wish we knew how proud they are when we discover new spiritual truths. And they wish we knew how much it means to them when we protect them and their family just because we love them, not because of something we are hoping to get from them.